THE ART OF GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK

“I wish we had 100 people like you!”

“Just keep doing what you are doing.”

Great feedback! Or is it?

Giving generic feedback is a bit like saying you are a gardener when all you do is admire the flowers as you walk to the letterbox.

There are usually four types of people when it comes to providing feedback.

The Cheerleader.

This person has a few standard lines that they roll out either prompted, or unprompted.

Lines such as:

“You’re amazing”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing. I’ll let you know if there’s an issue.”

“I wish we had 100 more people like you”

“You are a superstar! Don’t change anything”

The problem is that they tend to dish the same comments out, again and again.

This feedback loses impact every time it is dished out.

The cheerleader normally has good intentions. But they either don’t like conflict, or don’t know how to give good feedback.

People who give out platitudes will struggle with both credibility and trust over time.

If your leader is a cheerleader, and you are hungry to learn and grow, you will become frustrated very quickly.

The Strong Silent Type .

This person never gives feedback unless specifically asked and if you do ask, will often look surprised.

If you are lucky, they will then give you a thoughtful and considered response.

If you are lucky.

If you don’t ask, you will probably never hear anything.

The strong silent type is frustrating to work for and with.

They are wrapped up in their own world.

They may have a low need for feedback themselves, and therefore are surprised that others aren’t just ‘getting on with it.’

They will be genuinely shocked when people leave their team, having been too caught up in their work to see the signs

The Assassin.

This person sneaks up on you and gives you negative feedback when you are least expecting it.

It will be blunt and leave you with a head wound.

They often don’t care who else is listening, or where you are when they deliver it.

These are the individuals who describe themselves as ‘straight shooters’.

This may be true, but can also be code for “I just say what I want without considering the impact on others.”

The assassin will always struggle to gain trust because they can be unpredictable.

People in their team will be reluctant to confide in them, in case it comes back to haunt them.

The Archer

This person has learned the habit of providing well rounded feedback for growth and they will give you specific and targeted feedback, which is both useful and empowering. Here’s an example.

“I loved the style of your presentation, particularly the storyboard approach you took.

I think you could add impact by making it shorter - maybe reduce it by 20%?

Your delivery was great though, and you got your message across”

The Archer provides examples to support their feedback.

If someone else gives them feedback about their team members, they will not give it credence unless it is fact-based.

They also don’t react to rumours or sweeping statements.

Check your feedback style before dishing it out.

Be an archer!

Managing Feedback

So how do you manage feedback well when you are on the receiving end?

Here are a few ideas to manage feedback to optimise your personal growth.

1. Listen carefully and ask the person to repeat themself if necessary, so that you are absolutely clear on what they are saying and meaning.

Ask clarifying questions and ask them to give you a specific example/s.

If they are unable to do this, ask them if they could observe you and let you know immediately if they see it happening again.

The reality is that if they are unable to give you specific examples and it’s ‘just the vibe of the thing’, it will be more challenging for you to understand the behaviour and modify it.

If they are able to give you specifics, it’s still generally a good idea to ask them to let you know if they observe it again in the future.

2. Take notes if the feedback so you can reflect on it later.

3. Depersonalise it.

It is rarely personal.

Visualise yourself as an independent third person watching the interaction, consuming it in a detached manner and with a curious mind.

4. It is likely that you will feel some emotion if the feedback is particularly tough or negative - or a surprise.

This is natural.

Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you will take some time to think about it later.

Try not to react in the moment.

5. When you have left the conversation there may be a tendency for you to start to rationalise, deny or play down the feedback.

This is especially true if it is not feedback you’ve had before.

You may build a narrative in your mind that the giver of the feedback has misunderstood you or got it wrong.

Remind yourself that perception is everything.

If someone has had the courage to give you tough feedback, then you need to take it seriously, investigate it and act on it.

6. If the feedback is about a behaviour or approach you’ve been taking that is ingrained and not easily fixed with a quick tweak, you could always consider seeking help from an independent third party.

Effective change comes from practicing the behaviour you want to demonstrate, again and again.

Positive feedback builds confidence and we all need that in our lives.

Real and sustainable growth comes from acknowledging and acting on tough feedback.

#careercoach #leadership #feedback

Leadership lessons from dogs

Our canine friends can teach us so much. Here are a few things I’ve learned:

1. Dogs understand the importance of good habits, such as exercise and sleep. You will not often find a dog trying to avoid their daily exercise routine. Furthermore, if there is additional exercise on offer, you will rarely see a dog with a look of “you can’t be serious?” on their face.

2. Dogs demonstrate intense commitment and focus. My dogs hunt and chase lizards. Have they ever caught one? No. Are they likely to? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, they show up at Lizard Corner every day, ready to pursue their goals with gusto.

3. Dogs demand continuous improvement. Take dinner for example. They send regular and clear signals that they would like dinner earlier, faster, and preferably in greater quantities.

4. Dogs don’t worry about the future. They find joy and contentment in the present.

5. Dogs are great listeners. They understand the purpose of having two ears and one mouth. They also don’t repeat what they hear.

6. And finally, dogs are loyal and brave and don’t get all offended if someone rubs their belly in public (it was just the one time and I can explain!).

#leadership #habits #focusonyourgoalss

SHOULD YOU STAY OR SHOULD YOU GO?

How do you know?

Have you found yourself in a situation where it feels like you are regularly going around in circles on this topic, changing your mind from one day to the next, relitigating pros and cons in your mind. Should you stay in your current job....or move on?

So, how do you know when it is the right time to move on from your current employer?

Bearing in mind that leaving includes everything from the decision to leave, right up until the time that you actually leave. The reality is that once you’ve decided to go, emotionally you have probably already left. 

The obvious answer right now might be “Not when we are in the middle of a global pandemic!”

This may or may not be the right answer for you. Recent research commissioned by ING indicated that more than three million Australians are considering a post-COVID career change. Often, when there is crisis or disruption, it is the very best time to consider your options.

Psychologist, Jo Fitzgerald, says that when you decide to leave a company, it’s typically because you are either running away from something, or running to something. Wise words, and certainly might explain why you find you are full of discontent, and yet unwilling to make the move....just yet.

Certainly not a decision to be taken lightly or made impulsively, so what are some clear evidence points that the time has come for you to move on. Let’s put aside the obvious one which is when you’ve been asked to leave!

1. When you have exhausted all opportunities for lateral and upwards growth where you are. You are no longer challenged by your role and find you are intellectually bored at work.

2. When you don’t support the direction the company is going in or key decisions that have been taken and you are unable to get beyond that. In other words, are you able to dissent, speak your mind, and then show solidarity and support ....or not? If you can’t, then leaving as soon as you are able to is the best option. There is a well worn corporate saying which is “Are you on the bus? Or off the bus?” While overused, it’s nonetheless true. One foot on and one foot off the bus will never end well.

3. When you hate not just going to work, but also being at work. Not just your regular Monday-itis but a complete lack of engagement that you cannot see being resolved.

4. When you are not being adequately remunerated relative to market rates. This assumes that you have gone through all reasonable avenues to have this addressed and have not been successful. Any other benefits you receive as a result of working for your current employer are insufficient to offset the inadequacy of your remuneration.

5. When you have been offered a compelling role elsewhere that meets both your short and medium term objectives. You’ve done your own due diligence and it is the right move for you.

Leaving an employer, particularly when you have been there for a number of years is not always an easy decision to make and therefore removing emotion from the thinking process is pretty important. Think of it like you would a purchase or investment. Can I afford to do this from a financial/career/work life balance perspective? Who can be an independent reference on this for me and check my thinking? 

And once you have made your decision, whether you are staying or going, it’s time to make a plan!

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My Boss Sucks!

Five strategies for improving your working relationship with your boss.

Over the course of your working life, unless you are incredibly lucky, you will work with more than one boss you think is less than awesome. And unless you are incredibly unlucky, you will also be fortunate enough to work with one or two who are pretty amazing. 

If you think of management as a bell curve, it stands to reason that approximately half of all managers in the workplace will be average, or less than average. You won’t always get to work with rock stars. Unless you are a roadie, in which case you might. 

In the last decade or so of my corporate career, I declared that I would never again work for someone I didn’t like or admire. That was fine in theory. So I ‘chose’ a boss twice and on both occasions, that boss was promoted out of their role to something else within a couple of months of me arriving. I was then left with a leader I hadn’t chosen. I thought one of those leaders was great. The other one, not so much. 

Bear in mind, this was just based on my personal opinion and assessment. It was neither right nor wrong. 

So. What do you do when you find yourself in a position where you don’t enjoy working with your boss. Well, unless you are independently wealthy, you really only have two choices - to stay or to go.

It’s very important to note that if there are really serious issues at play in your working relationship, such as bullying or harassment, you absolutely need to raise those issues through the channels available to you. These behaviours are not tolerable, under any circumstances.

Assuming those issues are not in play, and you do choose to stay, here are five ways you can start to improve the working relationship with your boss:

1. Don’t personalise it. It is rarely personal. Novelist and teacher David Foster Wallace once famously said   “You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realise how seldom they do.”   The problem is that once you have formed an unfavourable opinion about someone, confirmation bias will kick in. Your brain will helpfully find any and all evidence that confirms your negative impressions. Not helpful. Find someone who does have a positive working relationship with your boss. Observe their interactions. Is there anything that is clearly different to your interactions. What can you learn?

2. Get connected with his or her communication style and preferences. Whenever I begin working for someone new, I ask them how they like to communicate. Some hate email. Some like it. Others prefer a quick call or text, particularly on more important issues. In my experience, there is nothing worse than being blind-sided by an issue at work and have one of your team members say ‘Oh - I sent you an email on that yesterday.’ Never assume your boss has had the time to read or even see an email unless they have replied to it! Effective communication is another topic in itself but if you start by understanding how your boss likes to communicate - you will have made a good start.

3. No matter what has happened between you and your boss, continue to treat him/her with consistent and unrelenting respect. I have been privileged to have Colin James, co-founder of Inner Profit coach me over the years. In one of our sessions I made an offhand comment about someone I worked with. Colin said to me (in no uncertain terms) “You may not like them, but you must treat them with unrelenting respect. It doesn’t serve you, and you will achieve nothing by speaking about them like that.” It was a timely reminder and one that I have never forgotten. On that topic, if you talk negatively about your boss (or peers ) behind their back, it WILL get back to them in one form or another. It can be tempting to air your grievances and seek an empathetic ear at work. This will rarely end well. If you do need someone to vent to, choose a trusted source from outside the company. The added benefit of cultivating this discipline, is that you will become known as someone who doesn’t repeat things and who is trustworthy. Not a bad attribute to have.

4. Understand that you do not need to be friends with your boss. The relationship between you is really just an employment contract that either one of you can choose to end at any time. Getting on like a house on fire might be an added bonus but it isn’t an essential part of the working relationship. In fact being friends with your boss can become complicated very quickly. Once you understand this, it will take a lot of pressure off your interactions. 

5. Step back from how you are feeling and try and critically evaluate what is really going on. Focus on the issue, not the person. What feedback have you had from your boss or others in the past? Maybe you should have a conversation with your boss to see how you can work together more effectively. Perhaps you are just experiencing a clash of working styles or values. I have worked with many people over the years who I didn’t particularly gel with when I first met them. It generally became apparent that the only thing wrong was that we were polar opposites. Appreciating and understanding that diversity, can lead to strong and productive relationships over time.

There is no question that, given the choice, we’d all work for someone who inspires us, and who we would follow to the ends of the earth. Maybe we wouldn’t take a bullet for them, but we might accept a bruise or two along the way.

The reality is that you will probably work for five decades in your life, if not more. Your relationship with your boss will rarely, if ever, reach these dizzying heights. But you can work on making the relationship stronger and more effective. You can make a conscious choice not to be a victim. You are not going to change your boss unless you get a new one. Instead you have the choice to focus on what you can influence and what changes you can personally make to improve your working relationship. 

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When Who Moves my Cheese Becomes Who Ate my Cheese.

What do you do when you find out that your role has been made redundant or you are being retrenched?

How do you ensure that you keep your professional and personal brand intact? Here are some tips:

The meeting

You might be called to a meeting with your boss and someone from HR to tell you that your role has been made redundant or you are being retrenched. They are likely to talk you through the rationale for any changes, and what it means for you. The latter will, without a doubt, be the bit that you want them to get to as soon as possible. However it's important that you listen as carefully as you can to what they are saying.

Try and do this, despite the fact that, by now, adrenaline is probably coursing through your veins making you want to either punch someone in the eye, or storm out with a dramatic door slam.

There are a number of scenarios that may be put in front of you during this meeting, ranging from the option to do a smaller or different role, to there being no role at all for you. You may be offered time to find another role, or you may be given immediate notice. A number of factors will contribute to what options are available.

It's really important at this point that you are not reactive. It is completely normal to have a reaction, but being reactive is a completely different thing.

For example, you may be offered a smaller role as an alternative to leaving the company. While the message is "we want you to stay, but we currently only have smaller roles available", you may well hear "We only think you are capable of doing a smaller role." It's completely natural for you to feel upset and angry at this news, but it always makes sense to pause, and ask for time to consider your options. A big reactive statement such as "There is no way I am taking a smaller role." may not serve you, unless you are independently wealthy, or have a very big retrenchment package available to you.

Whatever the news, make sure you try and ask questions and take notes to make sure you have understood the message correctly. You might also be in shock so it's perfectly acceptable to ask for a further meeting once you've allowed yourself time for the news to sink in.

At the end of the meeting, thank the bearer of the news politely, and leave the meeting. Remember that while it might feel very personal, it rarely is.

After the meeting

When a company restructures, there will be a number of 'actors in the play'. They range from those who are also impacted, to those who aren't. The latter are likely to feel either relieved, guilty, or both. This may result in them avoiding you. While you could choose to take this personally, their behaviour is usually because they simply don't know what to say. Choose not to take this personally. Rather than leaping to judgement, deposit it in your bank of life lessons. Tell yourself that when the shoe is on the other foot in the future, you will behave differently, because you will know how it feels.

There may also be people who want the 'inside story' so that they can then repeat a more dramatic version to their fifty closest friends. Avoid them like the plague. You may already know them as the office gossip but there may be others who, sadly, will be more than willing to be the bearer of other peoples' news. These will be the individuals who approach you with a question such as 'Are you ok?' but their facial expression is reminiscent of a long term dieter about to eat a large burger and chips. Trust your instincts and do not confide in them.

You will need someone to talk to. A close friend, your partner, or a mentor outside of the company are good options. These people will have your best interests at heart so you will have a safe place to vent, question, and explore options. Most companies also offer a free and confidential employee assistance program. Even if you don't feel like using this service straight away, don't dismiss it altogether. It might be something you want to come back to.

Talking about and re-litigating the situation at work is never a good plan. Unless you want to portray yourself as a victim and make others feel uncomfortable. You may think it makes sense to spend time with others who have also been impacted by the restructure. This is ok, providing the conversation is supportive and forward-looking, and doesn't turn into an episode of 'Fifty reasons I hate this company.' Remember it's likely you will shortly be looking for another job, so it's important that you are in the best and most positive frame of mind you can be. So it won't serve you well to spend a significant amount of time surrounded by people who may unintentionally pull you down. You may not have had a say in what has happened with your role, but you absolutely have a say in how manage your remaining time at the company.

If you genuinely feel that you cannot manage your emotions through this time of change, then negotiating a quick exit might be the best option for you.

Your last days at work

Whether you are a leader or an individual contributor, you are still being paid to do your job until you hand back your access pass and walk out the door. Ask yourself. "How do I want to be remembered by this company? Do I want to be remembered as an absolute professional? Or do I want others to see me as a victim, and be secretly counting down the days until I leave?"

Graciously accept a farewell event if one is planned for you. Use this time to reflect on the opportunities and growth that you have had at this company. Be gracious. Hopefully it goes without saying that revenge spending on the company corporate card and toxic final 'out of office' emails are not ok. While you may not need a reference from this company specifically, it would be naive to believe that one may not be given anyway. It is a small world.

The job hunt

Utilise every single resource available to you as part of any outplacement program you may be offered. They are there to help you prepare for new employment. This is particularly helpful if you have been with one employer for a long time. Revitalise your look, your skill set, whatever you need to do to make yourself the best possible candidate for the job you want. See this whole experience as an opportunity, because that is exactly what it is.

Don’t forget about the Employee Assistance Program. Most companies provide access to one. It’s completely free and a valuable, confidential and independent place to talk to someone.

Some people rush headlong into applying for another job after they have been made redundant. This is often driven by financial reasons which is perfectly understandable. It is also ok to do this if you are feeling positive and energised. But if you are not, and you don't take some time out to re-group, you make take even longer to find a role. If this happens both your finances and your professional brand may suffer.

I have interviewed many candidates over the years where the negative energy they felt towards their previous employer was almost palpable. It is very off-putting. Take as much time as you can, to read, prepare and ensure you are in the best possible frame of mind to bring positivity, energy and passion to your job interview. In fact.....and this is worth reiterating. Never, ever, speak ill of your previous employer. Don't even hint at it. Under any circumstances. If you do, all you will be doing is raising big red flags about you as an employee.

You are in charge of your career. You cannot outsource it to someone else.

You may not have always handled situations in the past they way you would have liked. What really matters is what you do from now on. That way, the next time your cheese gets eaten........and there WILL be a next time, you will be far better equipped to find an ever better piece of cheese!

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Why All Business Leaders Need a Good Understanding of AI

AI is not a future possibility, an interesting experiment, a phase. It’s here. So why now? The progression of AI has stalled over the years at various times where lack of knowledge, lack of investment, and failures have resulted in lower confidence. We have now reached a point where massive amounts of data, combined with billions of dollars of investment mean that AI is a force to be reckoned with.

It may interest and excite you, or it might scare you just a bit. You will know you are in the latter category if you find yourself doing the robot dance whenever the topic is raised. It happens.

We all know that AI is now a part of our everyday lives. Largely we are comfortable with the convenience it brings, whether its Google, or Netflix, or Siri. Google’s new digital assistant, Duplex, can now make restaurant bookings for you by telephone in 48 states of America. AI is in the background of so many daily applications that we take for granted, and yet many leaders don’t even have a basic understanding of how it works.s

So why do you need to understand AI, particularly if you are not involved in the development directly, or your business is not currently investing in building AI capability? Here are two key reasons:

Risk

Increasingly, your business partners and suppliers, will, if they haven’t already started, be delivering either fully automated, or augmented AI solutions to you. Terms and conditions are being updated to let you know that they may ‘from time to time’ use AI in their solutions.

We know, that from a governance perspective, ignorance is no longer bliss. When algorithms don’t work in the way they are intended, or when humans introduce bias or errors, and your customers or team members are impacted, you will still be held accountable for those outcomes, unintended or not.

So, knowing which questions to ask, understanding the parameters of the algorithms being used, and how the quality of the outcomes is being assured, is going to be key. Trying to manage risks that you don’t know about or don’t comprehend will be challenging, to say the least.

Opportunity

Your existing and future competitors are already invested and moving ahead at pace in AI solutions, which are revolutionising the way products and services are delivered. Like many technologies, early mover advantage applies. Leaders are often reluctant to sponsor programs of work that they don’t understand, and so it is easier to either delegate or push investment in AI down the priority list. Understandable. But also risky in both the short, medium, and long term. Like any other disruptive technology, it is sometimes easier to defer or ignore things we are not comfortable with, rather than embracing them.

Billions of dollars are now being invested every year in machine learning, robotics, and a combination of other smart technologies to revolutionise the way we work. Many companies have not yet started that journey. The McKinsey Institute believe that those who take a wait and see approach will not be able to regain momentum. https://www.forbes.com/sites/bernardmarr/2019/03/04/what-is-the-best-book-on-artificial-intelligence-ai/#3a1e60cb1674 

So how do you get started?

1.    There are some good online courses you can take. I can personally recommend Sloane MIT’s online course: Artificial Intelligence: Implications for Business Strategy. It is fast paced, but in under two months, your knowledge will be exponentially better than when you started, particularly if you are currently a novice.

2.    You will find many free and very readable articles online from credible sources like HBR, Forbes and more.

3.    There are also some great books around. In March this year, Forbes recommended some excellent books on AI. https://www.forbes.com/sites/bernardmarr/2019/03/04/what-is-the-best-book-on-artificial-intelligence-ai/#3a1e60cb1674 

4.    Find a mentor. Someone you trust and feel comfortable with, someone who really understands the topic and is more than happy to share their knowledge. I have found people to be more than generous in this space.

Your business will benefit, your teams will benefit from your understanding in this space, and so will you. Who knows? You might enjoy it!

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What I Learnt From Doing a Standup Comedy Course.

A few months ago, I decided to do a stand-up comedy course. The idea was planted in my head by the inspirational Colin James. The idea was that some well-placed humor would enhance my public speaking skills.

I enrolled in a weekend course and turned up with a notebook and pen, ready to be informed and educated on how to be funny.

Turns out it doesn’t quite work like that and apparently a key part of the course was performing a live show! Did not see that coming. Clearly in the fine print. Missed it.

So, I did a Sandberg and leaned in. Here’s what I learned:

1.      Without doubt, there is nothing better for the soul than laughter and laughing. Our facilitator, the award-winning Australian comedian Fiona McGary, shared how she had long contemplated the purpose of a sense of humor. She said she had come to the conclusion that, among other things, our sense of humor is a coping mechanism. Laughing can help us cope with stress, grief, anger, awkwardness. The list goes on. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much as I did that weekend while learning a bit about comedy.

2.      Whenever we go into a new situation, we bring to the table the mantle of everything we have accumulated in our lives.  Our personality, skills, and experience coupled with our fears and uncertainties. All these things can help us or hinder us. While I have had some experience with public speaking, stand up comedy was next level and it was terrifying. I found myself in the green room (code for an ugly room which doubled as a storage facility). My fight or flight response kicked in and I found myself jogging on the spot and doing stretches. Not only slightly odd preparation for a five-minute comedy spot, but weirder still when I haven’t been for a run in a decade!

3.      When you are doing something you have never done before, or you are in uncharted territory, you must leave your ego at the door. I remember thinking that it couldn’t be that hard. Surely stand-up comedy was just public speaking with some funny stuff added in. That assumption was 90% wrong. Struggling with having been wrong twice in the space of two weeks, I came to a new appreciation of the complexity of what we were doing. I also developed a real respect and appreciation for the other course participants, from all walks of life. Funny, real, putting themselves out there, all for different reasons.

4.      Fear makes us incredibly imaginative. When we don’t want to do something, we conjure up scenarios that could provide us with any number of legitimate reasons not to show up. I could have written a book of reasons on why I wasn’t going to go through with this. I lost count of the number of people who told me how brave I was, with the added bonus of a sympathetic glance and the occasional arm rub. Well meaning. Not helpful

5.      Showing up though, differentiates us in the end. No matter what the situation, how unpleasant, overwhelming, scary.  So, in the end, despite my misgivings and my internal dialogue, I did show up. I delivered a chronically over-prepared six minutes of rookie humor. Would I do it again? Probably not.  Was it worth it? Absolutely. 

Ask the Right Questions.

As a leader, your ability to quickly assess and understand a situation is pretty fundamental. As leadership often involves multi-tasking, it is also easy to be distracted by minutiae, or interesting information that may not turn out to be directly related to the topic at hand. Knowing what questions to ask is a great way to get the facts on the table.

In Hans Rosling’s book, Factfulness, he focuses on facts. The title is a dead giveaway! He tells the story of a time he supported a call to action, based on pressure from local government, a narrow fact base, and a growing fear in the decision makers around him. The decision turned out to be the wrong one. A number of women and children died as a result and it continues to haunt him to this day.

When managing a crisis there is, of course, a natural bias to action. This is great if something is on fire. But if you have the capacity to stop and ask some good questions to ensure that you get a clearer picture first, you are unlikely to regret it. 

In an organisation I once worked for, a customer complaint came through which everyone was super interested in. It had all of the right ingredients of drama, interest, and shock value. Every man, woman, and dog decided that they needed to be involved. The situation quickly escalated and gained momentum, yet no one really stopped to question what was really going on. Many meetings were called, and summons made to urgently address what clearly was a systemic issue. How could it not be when it was so throat-grabbing and downright interesting? It is worth noting that this issue:

a)      had never happened before in memory of the institution 

b)      happened due to a well-documented and normally effective process not being followed.

c)       was due to human error rather than anything systemic

A spot of training, an apology, and some good communication later, and the customer was happy. The actual cost of restitution was less than $200. We assessed the cost of management time was closer to $750,000.

Had the right questions been asked along the way in pursuit of of the issue, there is no doubt in my mind that a lot of time, money, and effort would have understanding been saved

So, what are some techniques you can use to improve the quality of your questions? 

1.      I am sure we all know this one. Don’t ask closed questions unless you want a one-word answer. Now it’s worth noting that sometimes a one-word answer is appropriate! For example,  if the question was, “Is there a spider on my head?” Typically though, you will want more granularity than that.

2.      Follow your initial question with further clarifying questions. Here are just a few examples:

a.      Tell me more about that?

b.      Have we seen other examples of this anywhere else? 

c.       How would you recommend we go about this? 

d.      What are our alternatives?

e.      Who does this well?

f.        If we don’t do this, what are the likely trade-offs or consequences?

g.       If we wait six months to do this, what are the likely trade-offs or consequences?

h.      How have we gone about validating our assumptions?

3.      When you are dealing with multiple team members or stakeholders with different personalities and thought processes, you want to make sure you can glean as much information as you can in a short period of time. If someone is quite black and white, or tends to think in a linear manner, they may interpret your question in quite a different way than you intended. For example.  You might ask whether something will be hard to fix, and the response might be that it will be easy.  Now you could joyously infer from this that it will not be expensive. I learned this one the hard way when I received an eye-watering invoice. Easy and cheap are often not the same thing and it’s always worth clarifying! 

4.      Watch for people who are listening to answer rather than listening to understand. This often leads to an incomplete or inaccurate understanding as they launch into a pre-prepared answer.

5.      Always play back your understanding of the conversation before it is finished. “So, what you are saying is….?” By doing this you will often find that the other party may clarify, add to, or change their initial statement. This will hopefully result in a better understanding of the situation.

6.      When someone is speaking in superlatives, seek to clarify. I will pick up my pen when someone tells me something is huge or disastrous and then ask them to quantify exactly how big or how bad the situation is. I have found, almost without exception, that the bearer of the news will ask for more time to go away and ‘just check’ the facts. The same goes for statements including the words ‘always’ or ‘never’, to which I would typically respond “Are we sure, and "How do we know that to be a fact?”

Like anything, good questioning techniques take practice. But it really is worth the effort and you will see the outcomes in the quality of your conversations and your personal impact.

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I’m a Leader – Get Me Out of Here!

Six strategies for learning to lead remote workforces in challenging times.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve read some fantastic articles about remote working. Excellent advice and insight about health and safety, routines, protocols, tips and tactics for keeping your workforce engaged. These will no doubt be invaluable for leaders in the coming weeks and months.

However, during a conversation I recently had with a valued colleague, she pointed out that many leaders have never managed a remote workforce before. Which got me thinking. Many leaders are adept at managing distance workers, or teams, but what about those who aren’t? 

With little or no notice, leaders will have their teams spread out over suburbia. While on one hand, they will know this is driven by necessity in the current climate, they could also be forgiven for wondering where this is highlighted in their job description!

I have managed remote teams for over twenty years across different geographies and more recently, (as a result of both crisis and opportunity) workforces that are spread across suburbs, as well as cities and countries.

Here are some things I have learned along the way and also some issues I think we all need to be mindful of as we are compelled to lead our workforces through unprecedented and challenging conditions:

Productivity is likely to suffer, at least in the short term. Working from home is no longer a nice-to-have that employers offer as a workplace benefit. There is a major difference between working from home because you want to, and working from home because you have to. 

Organisational psychologist @Joanne Fitzgerald, Director of #ManagedInterventions says:

“Usually in workplaces where I consult, the capacity to ‘work from home’ is experienced as a privilege, in recognition of one’s hard work, quality work, and genuine commitment to their role.

What happens when that privilege is in now enforced? When the absence of a choice is replaced by the requirement to work from home? ....

What we lose – through this sudden loss of choice – might be our sense of belonging, friendship and connection with others, power over others, our sense of being part of a broader effort, and of course the fun of having others nearby working on similar goals with similar energy.

So our challenge right now, greater than ever before, is to remain conscious of the choices we can make that we satisfy our needs to contribute meaningfully, keep us connected to work, and keep us focused on thinking and feeling a valuable part of a whole system, not an isolated being with a laptop on the lounge.”

Jo makes a number of really important points around our workforce and individual team members, and how they may be feeling right now.

So here’s the thing. You can train leaders on protocols and policies, but you cannot give them the experiential knowledge they need overnight - so your leaders will need both support and acknowledgement that this is very different.

More traditional leaders may struggle with not having ‘eyes on’ their employees. I have had many conversations over the years where managers have assumed or delivered judgement on who are the ‘right’ candidates for working from home, and who should be ‘allowed or not allowed’. They have a belief that people will be hanging the washing out (heaven forbid) or watching tv. They also don’t inherently understand that your ability to measure productivity because you can see someone sitting at a desk is just perception, not reality. So if you are in this position right now, here are a few tips for making the transition to leading a remote workforce more effective.

1. Be open and vulnerable with your teams. Tell them that you are also learning to do things differently and will make mistakes. Let them know that you are very open to feedback about how you can be more effective leading them from a distance.

2. Accept a short term drop in productivity. While some team members will already be used to working from home, others won’t. They may well find themselves wandering around like lost socks. It is likely to take time for them to adjust to a different way of working, and to adapt to the loss of face-to-face social contact with their work colleagues. Some companies have the ability through systems and processes in place, to measure productivity, no matter where their team members are located. Others don’t, but will still have agreed deliverables for team members . Make sure your team members don’t feel that they will be penalised if their productivity is a bit lower to start with.

3. Do set clear expectations. Do hold daily virtual stand-ups to ensure focus on work deliverables, but also allow time to focus on how people are feeling. Allow opportunities for team members to share stories and feelings if that’s what they want. Extroverts may be feeling almost physical pain from being separated from their work buddies, and introverts may be secretly delighted about not having to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with Chatty Cathy or Carl. What is certain is that everybody is different. Your ability to understand and empathise will be invaluable.

4. Accept that water-cooler conversation will be replaced with group chat via social media. And accept that these conversations may not include you . This will happen with our without your endorsement. It is important to remind them that text and talk are different so they do need to be mindful that their conversations are kept within the scope of your agreed code of conduct.

5. Understand that not everyone has a home office and so flexibility on your part is going to be key. Say for example, one of your team members, lives in a small house or apartment and has an unwell baby or toddler, trying to hold a conversation with them when you had it scheduled may simply not be practical. Remember that WFH was not necessarily their decision, so be flexible where you can in the interests of a better outcome.

6. Trust your teams rather than thinking trust must be earned. You don’t really have a choice, so by trying to micro-manage or check up on teams from a distance you will undermine any chance you have of building or re-building an engaged team.

Strong leadership has never been more important than it is today. Your people need you, even if you are in trackies and bare feet hanging out the washing (heaven forbid) instead of having a coffee catch up in the city.

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I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with me

I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with me

A friend asked me if I would have a coffee with a colleague of his who was thinking of changing jobs after 20 years with one employer. He was looking for some advice. 

We introduced ourselves, sat down, and he began talking. Twenty minutes into a thirty minute meeting, he was still talking. I had not uttered a word. I gently interrupted him and asked permission to give him some feedback. He looked a little taken aback and said "Sure."

"Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?" I asked. He laughed awkwardly and said "Well, yes I have had that feedback on more than one occasion, but at work they know me. They know that I deliver great outcomes, and they are used to me, so it's never been a problem." My response to him was reasonably blunt.

"That's great, but I don't know you, nor do I know anything about you. In fact, we have only just met. So, if you are looking to change jobs, what sort of first impression do you think you are going to make?” *

Someone once told me that human beings are not always good observers of themselves. The way I interpret this. is that we are often not observant enough to really understand the things we must change if we are to achieve our goals.

The truth is that the things we suspect may be holding us back in work or life, generally are the things that are holding us back in work or in life. They may only be small behaviours or habits but being acutely aware of them and then practicing every day to change them, can pay huge dividends.

Here are three tips that will help you become a better observer of yourself:

1. Appoint a 'spotter’.

This individual should be someone you trust, and who works closely with you. A good 'spotter' is generally that person who is always refreshingly honest and not afraid to speak up. They will be the person who will tell when you have spinach or lipstick on your teeth, or pen on your face. It would be easy to choose someone who only ever gives positive feedback but there will be little value in that! Once you have identified someone, share with them what it is that you are trying to achieve. Then ask if they would be prepared to observe you and provide ongoing feedback. This could cover meetings, general interactions, emails and more. It's really important that you listen to them carefully when they do give you feedback as they may well help you uncover a blind spot. We are often told that feedback is a gift. Good feedback can change your life.

2. Make a list.

Write down the thing or things that you suspect may be holding you back, but you have never confirmed for a fact. Maybe you have already have received some feedback, but you haven't sought to qualify it with anyone else.

The physical act of writing or typing it in black and white will bring it to the forefront of your mind. It may be any number of things. Maybe your voice goes up an octave or more when you are speaking in front of others. It could be that you are speaking too quickly, or not contributing enough. It might be that you tend to ramble in emails or when speaking, that you aren't listening actively when others are speaking, or that you easily become defensive when questioned.

3. Consciously watch what you are doing

Video yourself before giving a presentation, then review it carefully, and imagine you are in the audience. Read more of your emails before you send them as if you were the recipient. Slow down before you speak and think about what you are going to say before you say it. These are just a few ideas to enable you to become more bservant.

If you are reading this and thinking that you don't have time to practice these tips, then it is probably even more important that you make the time.

Depending on what you find you need to work on, it may only take a few extra minutes a day to practice new behaviours and approaches. Initially just focus on one thing and seek to improve it. Practice being better every day.

This small investment in your time will be well worth it and help you start to unlock some of your amazing potential.

*In case you cannot sleep for wondering what happened to the guy who talked too much, I have no idea. I did get an email from him the next day, thanking me sincerely for the feedback. He said he now realised that he had some work to do before he started looking for another job.

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Calm is the New Black

One of the greatest attributes a leader can demonstrate today, is the ability to remain calm. In every situation. At all times. This doesn't mean that you should not be passionate or vocal. It is about setting the standard for the behaviour you want to see in your team.

The shadow cast by a leader who is self-doubting, anxious, stressed, or unpredictable, is long. It can have a 'splatter' effect as team members, peers, and partners feel the impact, absorb it, magnify it, and pass it on.

To be calm on the outside, when on the inside you may feel like you are caught in the spin cycle of a washing machine, is easier said than done. It is possible though, and here are some tips that I have found to be really helpful.

Warning: This is not rocket science.

1. The reset. This is a great thing to do every day, but particularly when times are more uncertain. Every morning, before you start your day, find your focus, and reset. For some this might be exercise, others find meditation or reading helpful. It might only be for five or ten minutes but find what works for you and practice it.

2. Breathe. Slowly and deeply. You could of course use a breathing app, of which there are many. Alternatively, you could take a more radical approach, and just breathe. All by yourself. Just make it more deliberate. This is particularly useful when you have received information that is distracting, or unexpected.

3. Smile. Genuinely smile as you enter a conversation or a room. No matter how you are really feeling. Others will look to you as a barometer to assess how things are going. It doesn't matter what you say. We all know, and it is well researched, that your body language, facial expression, and tone, will override anything that you say. It is also well researched that smiling is not appropriate for every situation, so find the expression that is most appropriate for the occasion!

4. Be present in every conversation that you are in. As if it were the most important conversation that you will be in all day. If you are interrupted, or you are time pressed, be gracious in moving on.

5. Communicate openly. Where there is uncertainty, tell your team honestly what you are able to tell them at any given time. Resist the urge to indulge in speculation or gossip, because if you do, your behaviour will be seen as acceptable and it will be mirrored. This is a killer for company culture.

In life, there are few things over which you have total control. Your behaviour, and in particular, your behaviour as a leader, is one that you can control. 100% of the time.

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